What leads to Conflict
We all face Conflicts in our daily lives, don’t we? When we face them, they are such serious, painful incidents for us. However, it can, and often does, boil down to just 1 line:
[If you want to know what happened, you can read the story here]
In spite of its convenience, this 1 line description is just not good enough for 1 simple reason … It fails to solve the problem … Big Time!
We are talking about human beings here and humans are emotional beings. Everyone has their pros and cons, and an extraordinarily complex system of reasoning and emotions. And when there are so many people involved, it’s an even more complex interplay of thoughts and emotions.
I am Right and You are Wrong is not the mantra for successful relationships and a peaceful life.
Here, in this article, I will talk about the various types of workplace characters we read about in the story and those that we find every day at our own workplaces, families, social circles and daily lives.
Well, these people had taken the roles of villains in the story. We often see such kind of characters. They are jealous of Anupam’s success; they feel they don’t get the opportunities that they should, while Anupam and any successful person are considered backstabbers, who took success away from them. As a result, they gossip behind Anupam’s back, pass sarcastic remarks at him, doesn’t do their work well; we call this kind of behaviour Passive-aggressive.
Honestly, no matter how great a soul we try to be, these people arouse all the irritation centres of our brains!
But, apart from that, what troubles me about these people is that they fill themselves with negativity and endure the pain they give themselves. These people are as pained as others (probably more!)
Don’t we feel the same sometimes? Wronged … overlooked … we feel we have given our best, but other people take away the credit from us?
Therefore, even though their behaviour is unacceptable and wrong, something needs to be done for them.
What can we do? That’s a tough thing to say, but we can first let them know that they too are important. They think they should get all the opportunities, but we can point out why somebody else always gets the opportunities.
For e.g. it can start from making them realise the kind of negativity they have filled in themselves and the work/ family/ social environment. Can these thoughts lead to anything that is to be cherished? It can also be pointed out politely how irresponsible they have been by averting work. No matter what, it was their responsibilities. Would somebody at a responsible position ever do that?
More importantly, we may guide them to the right thoughts and behaviour at a given situation, such that they may get the desirable outcomes (read on soft skills).
He is the hero of our story – a talented and hardworking young man, who is set to head his very first project. As his boss says, he deserves it. He is his manager’s favourite. His colleagues and other people at office loved him, too, but since he got the lead, he became the victim of jealousy.
But the question is, is Anupam without his cons? No!
Firstly, in spite of the good position he is at (he is heading his first project and probably will get a promotion soon; he also has his manager’s full support), he played the part of a victim.
Secondly, he kept on getting more and more stressed, but did not do anything about it. And, Of course, he got angry at a time and in a way when definitely he shouldn’t have.
The behaviour he got from his colleagues was not acceptable, but shouldn’t he have taken charge of it? Instead of avoiding the cold Conflict that was going on, he could have directly spoken to his insecure colleagues about it and given them a sense of security.
“We are always going to be good friends, even if we get 5 promotions in a month. Today, I have a head in the project. Some other time, if you get it, won’t you want me to applaud you and support you mate?”
Anupam could have also spoken to Sudhir about the problem he is facing before the problem arose; that also could have saved the project from being delayed.
The clients and Anupam’s senior manager
They are mostly neutral people, who are much more concerned about the work that they need, than anything else … work that are to be done by people like Sudhir, Anupam or their colleagues. These people will neither be involved in your Conflict, nor be interested to listen about how some Conflict prevented you from doing something. They will praise you if you have done the work properly and will criticise you to the dust if you have not.
In this case, I would say, the clients have been very sensible by extending the time period by 2 days; though this may not be the case always.
These people are the newcomers, who don’t know their work well, so they find it convenient to just avoid it. Not that they don’t want to grow or work, but they have to be directed about every minute detail of the work they have to do. Their involvement in any Conflict is purely co-incidental.
They also feel directionless, not knowing what to do, whom to support and who to seek support from.
They need a lot of patience, training and encouragement to develop themselves.
He is Anupam’s manager … the good, sweetheart boss people dream of. He has always supported Anupam; he recognised Anupam’s talent; and when the Conflict occured at the office, he handled it quite well – the best that he could at that point of time.
At the end of the story, as they could successfully complete the project, it left Sudhir with some thoughts, which is the best part of him.
Sudhir did not refuse to learn from the incident; and this itself can take the organisation to a path of betterment.
But what was his thinking?
Sudhir was able to realise not only other’s, but his own mistakes. He realised that, till that juncture, he had overlooked the problems that dwell in the organisation, which could take them all down at any point of time.
Thankfully, Sudhir recognised the problems in the organisation after this incident. And recognising the core of a problem is the first and most important stepping stone for its resolution. Now it is to be seen how he takes care of them.
That’s it for now folks … Talk to you soon …