“Am I good at it?”
Pritha was full of self-doubt that day. She always has been that way since her late childhood. She was going for an interview. She went to so many of them for the past 6 months, but did not succeed in any.
“So many people will come for the interview, it’s not me alone. Why would they choose me? So many companies have rejected me already. Why would this one be any different? I wanted to do a job before getting married, but, as mom has always said, it’s not easy. There is a crisis of jobs, not job-seekers. So many brilliant students are seeking jobs out there. 70% marks in the mark sheet is just not enough to get a good job. So many friends got 80% and 90%. It’s really tough for me to get a job.”
All through the journey, these were Pritha’s thoughts. She got down from the bus and went to the elite office for the interview. Her nervousness had made her hands and feet cold already. The air conditioner and the office atmosphere made her feel colder. She hugged herself tight.
“Others are good at it!”
As Pritha was sitting on the comfortable sofa at the reception, she watched another girl coming in. Her name was Aisha. As she came in, she started a conversation with the receptionist. She was smiling. The conversation lasted for, may be, only a minute. But Pritha wished she was Aisha. “Look! How the girl is having a happy conversation at her office. Oh! Wish I had a job! This girl has a job. Wish I was her!” Pritha was sure this girl was an employee in the Organisation, who was having a chat with her colleague.
But, to her surprise, Aisha came and sat beside her on the sofa, instead of going inside the office. “Oh! So she must be a client or may be a marketer. But, wish I was her! She has a job and she must have been a brilliant student! She looks so beautiful! She must be younger than me! This girl looks so happy and I am sitting here, cold and nervous!”
“I am good at it!”
As Pritha was pondering on how good Aisha was and how bad she herself is, Aisha was looking for a small conversation with someone. This is her second interview. She tried initiating conversation with Pritha a few times, but Pritha only killed the conversations with one-word replies.
Aisha started pondering on her first interview. They said her skills did not fit the job criteria well. However, the interview added to her experience, she thought. The interviewers had asked some weird and funny questions. And to Pritha’s horror, suddenly Aisha started giggling at the weird answers she had for their questions; she was embarrassed and hoped she could give more intelligible replies this time.
Next, she thought how some of her friends and relatives mocked her as she got 65% in her exams and when she failed in her first interview. “Oh! Why don’t these people get a life of their own? I can handle mine! I can understand that mom and dad are concerned about me; so they keep badgering me sometimes. But I know, I can be the best … just at the right time … and with the right people”
Her turn of going in for the interview came, as the receptionist called her name. As she had come to the office she was a little nervous, but with her thoughts, now she is filled with Motivation and inspiration.
Watch out for what you think!
That’s what makes the difference – Your thoughts!
Aisha had a so-called mediocre status, equal or a little lower as compared to Pritha. But she can make much more impact as compared to Pritha, because she considers herself able. She may not have been the best candidate that day, but she could give her best. Even if she doesn’t get the job, she will take a learning from it and be better next time.
She did not indulge in Self-doubting.
But think about Pritha. How witty and intelligible can she be in the condition that she is in before the interview? She felt cold, nervous and demotivated! Even if her profile is best among candidates for that interview, she has only a tiny chance of getting qualified and not qualifying will demotivate her further.
“But, she has failed in many interviews for 6 months; isn’t this anxiety natural?” anyone may argue. Maybe! But assuming that she has been as Self-doubting in all the other interviews, the outcome also turned out to be negative.
Pritha and anybody like her is Self-doubting and under-confident. And they are generally doubtful about so many things … their looks, their academics, what other people has ever told to them, how bad they are as compared to others … in short, their negative aspects.
Why should I choose you?
There are thousands, millions and billions of options to choose from. Why should any friend, any partner, any employer or anyone under the sun choose you? Why will they trust you?
Just because you came across? No! Everyone meets many more people every day. Answering this is difficult, because everyone will have their own reasons to trust or not trust anyone.
But, there’s one sure-shot reason for someone not trusting you. You don’t trust yourself.
You are the person who knows you the best … who loves you the most! If you feel you aren’t worthy of being liked or trusted, why would any second, third and fourth person like you?
What should you do?
Trust yourself! Love yourself!
Right from our childhood, people have pointed out our flaws, more than our good aspects. As a result, we have started looking at ourselves that way. Accordingly, changed our outputs and our outcomes; people, then, said that we have turned worse. It’s a vicious cycle, guys!
It’s time to break that cycle of negativity! It’s time to give up Self-doubting!
If you can learn something useful from those flaws that are pointed out, then do it and take pride of yourself! Just, the way Aisha learnt from her experience in the past interview. However, if there’s no learning you can derive from them, then just roll your eyes and forget about those. Remember how Aisha reacted to her friends’ and relatives’ comments?
There no reason for us to overlook the flaws that others point out or the ones we find out ourselves. They are excellent opportunities for us to rectify them or improve on them. But there’s also no reason to focus on them so much that they overshadow the positives and become a serious limitation. You are much more than your flaws! Therefore, Self-doubting is not an option.
If we don’t celebrate ourselves, then who will?
“Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you Love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you.”
Remember, you are good at it. Being the best is the choice you have to make!
Cheers to life!